We have Mebira!!

I'll be quick because we're just putting Mebira to bed. 

We visited our sponsor child this morning - a really neat experience.  I'll update more on that another time.

We went to visit Mebira at 3 today.  She was very shy at first.  She looked at us and sat by us but wouldn't speak or even answer yes or no.  We gave her a stuffed animal to play with, and had a book of letters with us.  We tried to talk with her and speak some Amharic, and played with the stuffy...after a while she started warming up.  She looked at the letters and said all of the alphabet...she had the odd letter mixed up, but she did very well!  She had a bit of a snack and we played a bit more...after about an hour or so Sister Hannah asked if she wanted to come with us and she said yes!

The driver was unavailable so we decided to walk back.  It was so fun and would have made a great picture.  It was only a 10 minute walk or so, and we each took one hand and jumped her over the puddles.  She is so heavy - she's completely solid and probably weighs as much as Grace.  I'm not sure if we'll need a car seat and can probably just go to a booster!

When we got here we spent quite a bit of time in our room.  We had brought various toys with us and she loved them.  She jumped from activity to activity, but definitely played with each one for a bit.  We went and did some chalk outside, and she spelled out the whole alphabet up to U on her own!  Then we had some supper (she downed a ton of steak - I couldn't believe it!), and now we have her in bed.  I think she thought I was crazy when I brushed her teeth, but she let me do it. 

We were so happy to be able to call home and talk to the girls and Mebira said a few things on the phone.  I think I will be exhausted by the time this week is done, but it is going so well!

Ruth, I saw your kids today (I hope it's OK I say that...they poked their heads out) - they are so cute and looking good and healthy!  Gwen, we went to Kaldi's the other day and had two awesome juice drinks in your honour.  :-)  I have to go see how they're doing upstairs...I'll try to write a bit each day but our time is full watching her!

Back from Soddo

Hi - we are so tired today.  We had a long but beautiful drive to Soddo yesterday.  We left at around 8am, and arrived around 3:30.  We were hoping to go find the spot where Mebira was born yesterday, but due to numerous factors we weren't able to do so and needed to wait until today.  We went for supper (had some Ethiopian Tibs and injera), then read and barely stayed awake until 9.

The hotel was nice, and we managed to have power while we were awake - it went out during the night during a big storm, but didn't affect us much.  We had water, too...just not hot water.  I kept waking up through the night and then forced myself back to sleep numerous times...I finally thought I had slept enough, was wide awake and asked Arvid for the time...it was 4am!  After a long time of tossing and turning we slept again only to be awakened by our shrill alarm.

At 7:30 we got in a 4x4 car and headed to the place where Mebira was born.  It would have been a 20-30 minute drive but we had to keep asking for directions on the way.  We finally found it and had a very amazing time there.  I will leave the details of this time private and will let Mebira share what/when she wants about her past.

After a nice coffee ceremony and popcorn we hit the road by about 11:30 and just got to the guesthouse around 6:30.  We are exhausted.  It feels like we just drove to Fairmont for the evening and drove back again today.  :-)

The countryside is absolutely gorgeous in Wolayta.  It is so lush and beautiful - reminds me a lot of Maui.  I will post more details on that when I can attach pictures once we're home!

Tomorrow we visit our sponsor child and then go to see Mebira in the afternoon.  Friends of ours who are here picking up their kids when to visit them today - and the kids immediately wanted to come with them...so we may have Mebira with us tomorrow already!  Until then....

Heading off to Soddo

Hi all.  We had a great day yesterday.   About 2 hours after arriving we went to an AIDS orphanage with over 270 kids.  It was amazing and I'll post more about it later.  We were gone a few hours, bought some coffee on the way back to take home, unpacked, had a short nap, went for a walk and out for supper and were asleep by 9.

 

As expected, we were up at about 3:30 this morning...I slept about 45 minutes after that, but the alarm woke me up at 6:15 because we are driving to Soddo this morning.  It is about a 6 hour drive away, and then we will need to rent a 4x4 in order to travel to Mebira's birth village.  We are both excited and nervous about this trip.  It will be emotional, I'm sure.  The worst part is that our video camera stopped working.  We think it may be recording, but the screen is all blank so we have no idea what we're zooming in on.  We are quite frustrated about that.  Thankfully, our friends Drew and Liesl are lending us their video camera for our trip to Sodo - so generous of them!

 

We will be offline until tomorrow night.  Take care!

We've arrived

Hi everyone.  We have made it safely to Addis.  I am sooo relieved to be here. The flights went so much better than I could have hoped for.  Some may see it as coincidence, but to me it was like a little gift from God saying that He will be with me and will help me in all the details.  On the Edmonton to London flight we managed to each get our own row of 3 seats so we were able to lie down, stretch out and sleep about 5 hours.  We had a 7 hour delay in London, which dragged on a bit but was OK, and our flight to Addis was pretty good because we were in an exit row so we had HUGE legroom.  I managed to sleep about 4 hours on that one and am not feeling sick at all.  It is night and day from our last trip to Addis.  I don't think I'll nap today but will just have a shower and then hopefully do some shopping.

 

There is a national holiday in Ethiopia today so I'm not sure if the stores will be open, but we will drive around and see the action, if nothing else.  It has been so fun to see the KVI staff again, and to see Drew and Liesl again (who were here with us at court).  I just finished an omelet, fruit salad bowl and 2 cups of Ethiopian coffee.  I am ready to go!

 

For those checking for updates on Dad, he had a tracheomy (sp?) today.  He is doing well, is able to lift his arms and is much more alert.  Such good news!  (Thanks, Lynelle, for keeping us posted!)

 

Until later...

Letter to you - please read!

Hi everyone. We are sitting at the airport, with some time to kill before we board our flight. We wanted to give you a heads up on a few things, as I'm sure reading books on International Adoption and Adopting School-Age Children is not your favourite activity. We've used my friend Gwen's letter as a basis - thanks, Gwen for sharing!

Although we're hoping for a smooth transition for our family, we are going to step back from a lot of our activities for a while. Internationally adopted children often have difficult transitional periods as they adjust to living in a family, learning a new culture, new language, being surrounded by people of a different race, and learning to accept new smells, tastes and sounds.

Although Mebira is almost 5, we can expect her to act like a much younger child -- possibly even like a young toddler. Behavioural regression is normal in institutionalized children, and is temporary. Their brains need some “re-wiring” after the trauma of family disruption and institutional care.

Our basic goal for the first little while is simply to teach her that we are her parents. This is attachment. Mebira needs to learn that we are a family, and that her needs will be met by us, every time. Parents teach this to their biological children easily, by repeatedly responding to their inant’s cries. Adoptive parents need to teach this more intentionally. Every child’s fear is that their parents will leave them: this is why a baby cries when he cannot see his mother. For the adopted child, this fear has become a reality: they have lost their parents. They need to be taught that we will not leave them, not ever. This lesson may be a long and difficult one.

It may seem, at first, that we are completely spoiling her. She may (or may not) act out in ways that seem extreme. We'll be trying to meet her every need, and trying our best to respond to her immediately. Although it may seem that we are being terrible, permissive and manipulated parents, please be patient! We don't know what kinds of trauma Mebira has suffered, and it may be a while before we can start expecting good behaviour from her. Severe malnutrition can also affect behaviour, sometimes permanently. We're asking for your patience as we work through this.

What can you do to help?

Just a few simple things will help us tremendously!

1.Give Mebira a little space. We're all excited to welcome her, but she has no idea that we’ve been waiting for her so long. Big enveloping hugs will scare her, not comfort her. Loud sobs may make her wonder what is wrong with these Canadians! If you simply cannot resist the urge to reach out to her, shaking hands is culturally acceptable and will not frighten her. In Ethiopia, it’s a sign of respect to grip your right elbow with your left hand as you shake someone’s hand.

2. Please, try not to stare. Mebira will notice that she doesn’t look like the rest of us. As a transracial family, we will be stared at whenever we’re out in public. Let’s make her feel that she can feel secure and comfortable among family, friends and our church family.

3. It’s unacceptable to touch black children’s hair without first asking their permission.

4. Based on books we've read, and the advice we've gotten from our Internation Adoption Doctor, we've decided to cocoon our family for a month or two. We will likely not have much interaction with people for the first few weeks, and will start introducing her to people as she gets more comfortable with us. She needs to know that we are not just another set of caregivers who will hand her off to someone else. Therefore, it is very important that we are the only ones who feed her and comfort her.

We can hardly wait to introduce Mebira to you! You have all been a tremendous support to us over the last 2.5 years. Every prayer, word of encouragement and hug has meant so much to us. May God bless you as richly as you have blessed us!

Today's the day

We head out tonight - I can't really believe it.

First, an update on Dad. His breathing tubes are out! They took them out today, much to my surprise, and so far he's doing OK. He seems to be a lot more alert today, too. With his eyes, he's following his sister around the room, and he was able to move his left side more. This is great news!

A lot of people are asking if I'm excited for our trip. I'm definitely a bit excited, but I am also kind of dreading it. I hesitate to write that, because I don't want Mebira to read this in the future and think we didn't want her. We totally do, and we love her already...but I know that this trip, and the future transition will be hard...and I'm already exhausted. It will all be worth it in the end, I know, but I really like our life right now. Our life is so easy, and the girls are so independent...and things are so smooth. The thought of those long flights, the time change, the initial few months of language issues, the potential food issues, sleep issues, medical concerns like parasites and skin fungus, the transition home, the relationship among the 3 girls, managing school, integrating her into family and friends...there is so much to think about.

One thing I've learned through Dad's situation, and through the wonderful example of Brenda, Lynelle and Arvid, is to just take it one hour at a time. So I will do my best to do that in the coming weeks. One thing I can say for sure - I am so thankful I'm not in this alone. Arvid is the best husband ever, we have amazing friends and family and church family, and God is my ultimate support. With God, all things are possible. And I can rely on His power and His strength to hold me.

I'm taking the following verse with me on this trip, "DO NOT FEAR for I AM with you. DO NOT BE DISMAYED for I AM your God. I will STRENGTHEN you and HELP you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10. All glory to God!

One more sleep!

Tomorrow's the big day - we take off tomorrow night!

I'm exhausted so I'll be brief but I know some of you are relying on this for updates on Dad. I went with the girls after school today and he slept through the whole visit but I got to have a nice chat with Brenda while he napped. Thankfully, though, by the time Arvid arrived after work he was more alert so they were able to communicate a bit. Dad squeezed his hand a few times in response to questions and was able to move his whole right foot during the nurse's assessment. There still seems to be little to no movement on the left side.

We are packing like crazy - our 2 donation suitcases are ready to go, and we've split our clothes and Mebi's clothes into the two other suitcases...but we are so tight for space and weight right now. I think our carry-ons are going to end up weighing a ton. I guess I'll get a good workout in, which is good, because I've been eating way too much lately!

I'm going to head to bed - I will soak up tonight because it will be my last good sleep until Saturday!