I've been slacking a lot in the blogging world. It feels like there is so much new that I don't really know where to start.
The fall was pretty hard on our family. I was quite busy with work at the church and some extra projects at GE. One of our girls struggled with anxiety and it became a nightly stress walking through that with her. Mebira also struggled with her identity...and became very embarrassed to be seen with us at school or anywhere in public, and although I understood this would happen, I wasn't prepared for it to happen when she was six. Arvid also had a lot of stress at work and was putting in more hours and effort and I realized that we couldn't keep going the way we had been. After nearly five years of working at the church, I decided that I would stop at Christmas.
I didn't feel the full effects of being home until the spring as I ended up having quite a few GE projects to keep me busy. I could already tell a difference in our family life in January, though. I have extreme flexibility on my GE projects - I can do them wherever and whenever I want, as long as I meet my deadlines. And, oddly enough, I really like working on these projects...it doesn't really feel like work. (I had good flexibility working at the church and enjoyed it, too, but, as anyone who has worked at a church knows, there is a lot more emotional involvement than there is in creating AutoCAD drawings. :-) ) Anyway, our family life went from crazy, rushed, stress-filled, to the kids coming home for lunch every day, I had lots of time for baking, getting healthy groceries and trying out some new recipes.
I'll admit that staying home has been challenging at times. When I'm not doing GE or helping out on a few things at the church, I sometimes feel unmotivated...and that all I do is clean the same thing over and over. I also have a real sense of guilt...this is not from Arvid at all - he is very supportive, but if I sit down for any reason (like blogging) I feel like I should be doing something else, because he's working so why should I have fun?
Obviously, I was concerned about the financial impact of staying home. My GE work isn't consistent - I just help out whenever they need me, so there is no guarantee that I will have work at any given time. BUT, we had a really cool thing happen. I stopped working at Christmas, and by the end of January (with only one regular paycheck in between), Arvid got a raise and it covered exactly what I had been making at the church. I TOTALLY see that as provision from God, and am so thankful that He blessed us in this way.
I had a meeting with the ministry team last night, and I must admit that I do miss being very involved at church and working with all of those amazing people. However, I know for right now that this has been the right change for our family. Mebira is so much more confident now and seems to really have settled in again nicely. She is no longer shying away from me in public, but now runs and grabs my hand, fights to sit next to me, etc. Our daughter with anxiety is making huge strides and is surprising me with her strength and ability to tackle things.
So there's an update for any of you who are still following. :-) And now I REALLY need to go do those dishes!!
