As we passed court and Mebira legally became our daughter 1 year ago today (yah!) we recently had a meeting with our social worker to write up our post placement report. (These reports are sent to Ethiopia...3 in the first 15 months and yearly on our court date thereafter).
Anyway, it was a great chance to see how far we have come in the nine months that we have been home. When she did our first post placement report in the summer we still had it pretty good, but we were dealing with learning the language, some behavioral issues, trying to figure each other out and teach her our family expectations and boundaries, and of course we were dealing with Arvid's dad's aneurysm.
Our social worker asked us a whole bunch of questions...does she sleep through the night? (yes) always? (yes) has she ever been sick? (no) does she eat well? (yes) does she eat meat? (yes) veggies? (yes) fruit? (yes) how does she get along with her sisters? (awesome!) does she bond well with Arvid, too? (yes) is she affectionate? (yes) how is she when you do her hair? (great) how is her English (great, and she can read most 3 letter words now) how has she done now that you're back at work? (good - haven't noticed a difference) what is she like? (almost always happy)...anyway, you get the picture. At one point I was almost worried that she wouldn't believe us and that we were making things up to cover up what is really going on. :-)
We know this probably isn't typical but we are definitely counting our blessings. We tried to prepare for the worst and hope for the best...we read enough adoption books to scare me half to death, but we felt that this is a path that God was directing us down and that He would provide the strength to make it through. Neither of us are huge kid people...and with dealing with Arvid's dad's death and issues therein I don't know how we would have had the bandwidth to have a totally traumatized child on our hands. We are soooo thankful that things have gone smoothly so far!
I have recently had such a desire to pause life right now. G is turning 10 in September...and she's already turning into a little mini adult...M and E are at such a cute stage...I wish I could just pause it and park out here for a while longer. Wouldn't it be nice to have a remote control for life? How fun to skip through those hard stages and to pause life when it's good...and Arvid and my personal favourite - one we wish for almost every day - to have a volume button!! Three giggling girls (or screaming girls) can make a lot of noise! :-)
Anyway, for now, I plan to soak up the days...especially this next week of Spring Break!
I'm so glad to hear that things are still going well, even with you going back to work. I think that it is so true that God knows what we can handle and blesses our willingness to be obedient to His call.
ReplyDeleteAs you dropped off the girls one morning at school on your way to work last week I watched mebi come in and get herself settled. I thought "wow...she is so independent, so confident, so well adjusted.". You have obviously done such an amazing job of finding BALANCE for her as well. She is dependent on you yet independent as well. You have given her the confidence to know that she can do things for herself yet know she has you there whenever she needs you. Just like g and e, mebi is so well adjusted. A true testament to your amazing parenting. I am so grateful that MY five year old gets to have her for a friend!!!! Love b:)
ReplyDeleteWow - that is such a sweet comment and brought tears to my eyes! I'm so lucky to have a friend like you!! :-)
ReplyDeleteSo wonderful to hear. I too, have read all the older child adoption articles and blog experienced and yes, they scare the poop out of me. I am over prepared for all the negative things...but I am so heartened to hear that it may NOT be like that. It may go well. We may indeed have a great experience. It is possible! I will be calling you for tips on how you managed to do it, Anita! Hopefully, some day soon!
ReplyDeleteClaire
I'm here for you, Claire. I'll be shouting from the rooftops when you finally get your referral! I may have to have some champagne to celebrate with you! :-)
ReplyDeleteI wanted to add something that I forgot in this posting. It is TOTALLY not anything that we've done. I really feel that Mebira's easy going personality is the reason that things are going so well. She is totally adaptable and fun-loving. I don't think we have done anything special with her - we were just blessed with a super awesome kid. Now she's obviously not perfect, but I really feel that most of the behavioral issues we're experiencing are normal 5 year old behavior. I haven't sensed any traumatized child behavior...yet.
Anyway, just wanted to make that clear because I really don't want people to think that it's because of our awesome parenting that she turned out this way...I really feel like it's because of her personality and by the grace of God that things have gone this well!