This week has been great. A two day week - I could get used to that! The girls have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off of school and other than a few minor things each day we don't have much planned. I was really looking forward to sleeping in today...and made it until 7:30. What? That is not like me at all!
I suppose I have a lot going through my head. I go back to work on Monday and will admit that I'm quite nervous about it. Granted, it's only 12 hours a week, but I have for the first time in ages felt relatively in balance, and 12 hours is likely to upset that balance at least for the first while. Thankfully my mom will help out with watching Mebira one afternoon a week, and the other times I will be working while she's at school.
My job itself is pretty good...the staff at church is awesome and I generally like what I do. Our Senior Pastor is really flexible and supportive and understanding so I've been able to set my hours and times. However, I'm not able to just leave work at work very well, and when things get stressful there I am definitely not good at leaving it there. I feel bad admitting this, but I've definitely noticed that my patience (and tolerance?) for Mebira really goes down as soon as I feel stressed. I think it's probably because she's at home with me each afternoon alone and needs more attention than when G&E come home. But I do wonder how my busy-ness will affect our attachment, and how I'm going to get everything done!
I've been debating this whole work thing a lot in the last while. To work or not to work. Although we have been blessed financially in so many ways, we obviously still have debt and I wonder if I shouldn't help bring that down a bit. Plus, raising three kids is quite expensive! And the kids will all be in school "full-time" in September. It would be different if I was homeschooling, maybe I wouldn't feel as "guilty" for staying home. I've been reading Dr. Kevin Leman's latest book, "It's Your Kid, Not a Gerbil" and it has been challenging me a bit. There are so many things we think our kids NEED, or so many things that we sign them up for that we think will enrich their lives. He challenges many of those viewpoints and it has made me stop and think.
Anyway, on that note, G needs help with piano so I will run. I'm curious as to how other people came to the work decision that is right for your family, if you'd be willing to share.
Although I worked only very part-time since my 7-year-old was born, I'm a full-time stay-at-home mom now - since the younger two came home last June. It's certainly been an adjustment, and one of the reasons why I had some very difficult emotional months last fall/early winter.
ReplyDeleteIt's a HUGE decision. I feel like it's the right one for our family, especially since we've made the decision to h/school. But it's a hard decision nonetheless, and has such huge life implications (for the better and for the worse).
Now that I'm through the worst of my adjustment to staying at home, I'm beginning to enjoy it more and more, I have to say. I feel like I'm catching every moment of growth that my kids have (though again, that's likely b/c they're always at home, too, b/c we h/school), and have so much opportunity for interacting with them.
BUt finances are absolutely a bit tighter, and I have to work a little harder to make sure I have time/space for adult conversation and alone time.
I love the name of Leman's book - that's awesome! Of course, I'm also a huge Gordon Neufeld fan and so his book Hold On To Your KIds was huge for me (you'll see a post on my blog coming up about that, b/c I just went to a Neufeld dinner).
Anyway, I hope your transition back to work goes well. I'll be thinking of you. I know what you mean about having just found your balance; I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting there.
I'll be eager to hear how things go!
Blessings,
Ruth
Well where do I begin. I work. Full time. But I have the luxury of being able to do it at night or when the kids are in school. I LOVE being a full time mom. I love driving them to school, helping in all the classrooms, taking them home everyday for lunch, picking them up each day. I love being able to take them to dance and taekwondo. I love that we can have their friends over a lot. I love going on field trips. Being a mom is what I do very well. Working is...well it's what I have to do. Now having said all that you and I have had many a conversation on this topic recently and you know I have never seen you more relaxed and happy than these past few months at home. Debt is sadly a part of life. For most of us anyways. You only get one chance to be the mom you want to be. I think if you are able to maintain your balance then you'll be fine. Ultimately you have to do what works for YOU. Love b:)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts, Ruth. I should read that Neufeld book and I look forward to your post! I'm glad things are getting more in balance for you...as mothers we are always wearing so many different hats that true balance seems almost unattainable, but getting close is great. Blessings to YOU! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for being my faithful commenter, B. Is that a word? Commenter? Seems like it should be commentor but my spell check doesn't like that. Anyway, I appreciate your perspective. I am continually amazed at how you can do it all. I think you're right...if I can find a new balance then all should be good. I'll have to try hard to do that for a while...and if I can't then we can always re-evaluate. Thanks for being my continual sounding board! :-)
ReplyDeleteI am back at work (full-time) since one month now. At first we all found this situation very difficult but we are now adjusting well as a family. Curiously, my relationship with my son is getting better since I am back at work. We are working on attachment and reattachment. My husband spend the morning with him, he goes to pre-school every afternoon and after school is our time together. Weekend are entirely for him and we spend time all three of us together. It a pretty busy schedule but I am glad to see him feel more comfortable everyday and learning to trust us more and more.
ReplyDeleteWishing you that the best decision for your family.
Naomi
Hello dear Anita! By the time I am reading this I guess you a re back to work! I hope younger having a great week and everyone is adjusting well..if uncan fit in a coffee one day let me know and I will slip on. Love darc
ReplyDeleteI am a bit late coming to the discussion. If you are already back at work, I hope it is going well. I have struggled with this myself. I am right now not working, but from time to time consider working a bit to help bring our debt monster under control, but I have tried multiple times to fit work in with parenting and have never been able to find the right balance. Something always has to give, and unfortunately, my kids usually bore the brunt of my working "experiments". It didn't seem to matter if I tried to work part-time in the evenings, work from home, work in a situation where I was allowed to bring the kids, nothing worked for our family. But that doesn't mean that it won't work for yours. It sounds like your workplace is supportive and understanding and that makes a big difference. Today, I will pray for you as you make this transition and make decisions about the future.
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